Caught on camera: Episode 2

Coach Bongs speaks out: "A certain striker brought a pair of stiletos and a figure belt to the game on Sunday. He was in an unusual happy mood and in top form scoring with every touch. One goal he controlled by a certain part in his groin area then assumed a horizontal position in mid air and poked the ball to score in a good goal. It's unclear at this point whether the shoes and belt belong to him or a female companion because of late he has been using a double barrel surname; a practise common with married women who don't want to lose their maiden names.

The story continues... In a bid to cover this from team mates the striker put the stiletos and belt in my car. With recent Zeal back problems, Packers missing for two weeks coming to concede penalties, Nicky missing on Sunday- the team has had many women related problems and the striker could have faced the wrath of the team.

Myself being married, Tinashe Ashley Sibanda Mutize thought people would not mind seeing stiletos in my car. He however forgot to get his thngs after the game. Now am with my wife happily driving around and she sees.... you rightly guessed it a pair of stiletos and a figure belt. How could anyone explain that really gentlemen. Can't say they are for a male teammate. It will look like am cheating with a guy worse. Of all married guys i havent had issues with visas but with such asazi. Its like Sheron finding soil between Benji's bums. As a result i shall miss Sunday's game in an effort to pliz the wife. I will be taking her on a shopping holiday trip which a certain striker has to fully pay for. So Kumbi and i will be with our wives ths weekend.

Caught on camera

Of late there's so much that has been happening to our team and we have set out to unearth the source of these misdemeanors. Preliminary findings suggest that the forces causing our players to have broken backs; have uncontrollable tempers; carry tennis rackets in their car boots; and fail to wash the kit among other things, come as a result of women clouding the players' minds.

Now the camera has been rolling and there is a dossier of evidence that will help the management put these matters to bed. And the holy book rightly puts it- nothing done under the cover of darkness shall remain a secret.


And everyone always thought Nick was a weak! Well a closer look at this picture doesn't suggest the lad is weak- what makes him weak is what he does before the night before the game.

Some players are allegedly engaged in "weight lifting" but at a church concert held last weak, the player who has bragged in public that he carries weights in excess of 200 kilograms, was in the company of a lady who is estimated to be weighing just over 60 kilograms.

At the same concert was one left footed midfield who has been gaining weight and he too was in the company of one from the fairer sex. Maybe he thought this was a hide out spot and no one would see him because he hastened to claim that the lady was his cousin. Well he left before the concert was over.

Benji at it again

Benjamin Sibanda, also known as Bhebhi in other qaurters is a man who never runs out of ideas of not only suprising his teammates and his "lovely wife" but even himself.

This past Sunday he excused himself from FC Broadhurst's match against lowly ranked PASCO FC on the pretext that he had a business meeting with an unnamed client at Main Mall. Instead of staying home and ready himself for the supposed business meeting, he rose early morning to join ranks with Mogoditshane SDA Church who were playing that morning.

In a telephone interview, Bhebhi revealed that he chose to snub Broadhurst because he had a meeting but because he wanted to play soccer he had to go and play for Mogoditshane "since they start early while you (Broadhurst) guys are always late."

"I cannot leave umfazi wami omnandi (my juicy wife) at home and wait for people who come late, at least with these guys i play and go back home to my lovely Shez (Shez is his wife)," said Benji who is always late even for a match scheduled for 10am, before switching off his mobile phone.

The city of Gaborone is currently hosting a circus by the open field at the Main Mall.Well the cat let itself out of the bag later in the afternoon when Shez sent an sms to this reporter gloating that she was having a time of her life at the circus.

Further investigation by this reporter revealed that Shez was actually texting while riding on the back of a circus elephant...yes she was with Bhebhi.

Overwhelmed with joy of being ontop of big mammal Bhebhi texted this reporter using his juicy wife's phone: "asigandanga sigadile, ungabodladla". For starters, "ungabodladla" is a word that was coined by guys at FC Broadhurst and it is unique to them. Now, Shez is renowned for her disdain of soccer and she could not therefore have suddenly fallen in love with soccer to such levels that she can construct a sentence with the word ukudladla.

He then ceased communicating further when pressed on why he had sabotaged over two dozens of men by arranging a match that he did not want to attend. This is not the first time that he has sabotaged the team this way: last month he organised a match with a UB Graduate School team but on the day of the match he was nowhere to be seen. He had lied to his wife that he was going to Ronny's place from whence they would come for the Graduate School match. He left his phone at home and the poor juicy wife had to call the whole of Gaborone looking for Bhebhi who was neither with FC Broadhurst nor his phone.

With a fuming wife at home, Bhebhi conjured a scheme of buying himself time to soothe the frothing Shez. He hastened to organise a business trip to South Africa that afternoon and even to date noone really knows if he crossed the border.

Two months back he lied to his wife that he was meeting a client at BBS Mall when infact he was travelling for a game of soccer in Oodi. This is the day when he came home to a wife who wanted him to explain why he had soil between his toes and bums.

Of late he has been dressing like South Africa's former jail bird and fraudster, Freddie Gwala of the "amadamara" fame. God forbid if he aspiring to be a Freddie Gwala

Almost doesn't count

We almost beat Military Police last week at the army base in Mogoditshane, unfortunately we lost 5-4 thanks to the team's lack of fitness, lack of clinical finishing in front of goal and unbelievable goal keeping.

It is a public secret that FC Broadhurst lacks physical fitness and this flaw has often resulted in them conceding silly goals and at times giving away what would have been a certain victory. The past Sunday was an obvious trial of the team's endurance as they took on the physically superior soldiers: infact Military Police who are the fit among the fit in any army regiment.

They were fit but their strong muscles were not so much inclined to football and this was our chance to run over them, thump them hard but at the end of the day all that could be said was "we almost beat them."

While our goal keeper made his fair share of blunders by failing to cut for crosses and at times get a clean hold of the ball which always resulted in a goal, it was the strike force that got everyone saying "almost."

Benji, Tinz, Zeal and then Thando took turns to squander the chances that came their way. One remarkable miss was by Benji, who had earlier said "abantu laba bamnandi bayareyitsheka" (these people are easy to dribble). He got a lovely pass from Nick and his long legs got him past a host of the Military Police defenders and when he came face to face with the goalie he shot tamely at goal. Noone really knows what he was trying to do but at least Spikiri (left back for soldiers)told him after the match that he had cost Broadhurst the game.

Benji was just into dribbling and his contribution was as clear as mud. After his "almost" moment, the soldiers' goalie hit a long ball forward that caught our defense in sixes and sevens and they did not dilly dally with their chance, they increased they goal margin with a struck volley.

In came Khumbi and he was as cool as a cucumber, executing well and according to coach Bongs' instruction on his role in the midfield. His introduction saw us score two goals off the boot of Zoro but he needs to buy football boots and desist from playing with a 3/4 cargo pant. We almost drew level thanks to his intimidating masculine presence in the middle of the pitch as this led the soldiers to switch their play to the wings where they found Freed and Maqhawe resolute.

We almost grabbed a late equalizer but Thando somehow scooped the ball way over the cross bar from a virtually impossible distance from the goal line-maybe just over a metre from the goal line. As if this wasn't enough, Ronny almost put up for the night at the barracks as his car ran out of fuel

Marina-much ado about nothing

When FC Broadhurst drove to the National Stadium for a date with Marina FC, the rumour mill had it that the medical boys had a 10 game unbeaten run that included beating 3 teams from South Africa, while Broadhurst's fine run had been halted the previous week by a select team of Gaborone Hotel and Culture Spears.

Still smarting from a 6-5 defeat to the select team in a game that they gave away 3 penalties and let go a 5-3 goal lead, Broadhurst's desire for a win seemed to have been dealt blow when Marina scored early in the first half. Was this going to be another victory for Marina? No! it was not going to be as Broadhurst is allergic to losing.

By the way, this was Thando's first match for Broadhurst as a married man and he was out to prove that he is still agile and that his back is still in mint condition. He made a string of saves that frustrated the Marina strikers who would have managed to filter through the defence of Maqhawe, Mudhawu, Mozy and Freed.

But like any other goalie, Thando had his moment to produce a howler of the day: Broadhurst was now leading 3-1 courtesy of goals from Zeal and a brace from Zoro when an under pressure Marina striker managed to weakly toe poke from way outside the 18 yard area a ball that everyone assumed would be easily dealt with by Thando only for some deafening silence to follow when the ball somewhat trickled between his legs and in the process giving Marina some hope of salvaging a draw at least.

Although Zeal had scored later in the first half to even up the scores, the team's bench felt he had not contributed much to the game and he was substituted before half time with Bra Hlo coming in for him which meant Zoro had to push up front and take his brother's striking role and partner Tinz.

Zeal made known his disgust at being substituted by asking Coach Bongs if he has a personal vendetta with him. He argued that he's always the first person to be substituted regardless of his performance saying the coach never compliments him. After his outburst, he did not wait for the second half, he drove home at supersonic speed.

It is not the first time that after being substituted Zeal has driven off; last week during the match against the Gaborone Hotel, Culture Spears - Select, he was substituted at the beginning of second half and he seemed to say he had had enough and drove his way home leaving behind his young brother Zoro who was to later find his way home courtesy of Mozy and Bradley.

But what he forgets is that, there is never a match that he has started on the bench while his other striking partners (Benji, Tinz and Toffy) have gotten used to always starting on the bench. And when it was just over 10 minutes into the second half Tinz was substituted but Zeal was not there to see it happen.

Nick came in for Tinz and this substitution meant that Broadhurst now had eight natural midfielders (Ronny, Bra Hlo, Simba, Karabo, Nick, Maqhawe, Zoro, Freed)on the pitch. Now this is one department that is tricky to manage- but the good thing is that Zeal is not a midfielder otherwise he would be frustrated everyday. This Sunday Tiego was not around and had he been there, there was going to be another substitution that would have probably seen Mozy come out and have another midfielder come in for him. Mozy had wanted to play just one half because of his nagging ankle injury but he ended up playing the whole 2 hours.

But how is the coach managing all these midfielders? Some of them are flexible to play deep in holding positions and even capable of playing as defenders. Tawu, Ronny, Maqhawe, Simba and Freed can play as defenders while Bra Hlo can switch from being an attacking player to a defensive midfielder which then gives the coach more options upfront in the mould of Nick, Tiego and Karabo.

Away from the selection politics, another positive that can be drawn from 4-2 triumph over Marina is Mudhawu's improving confidence with the ball- he rarely pumped the ball forward instead he chose to hold the ball and play the ball to his nearest team mate. Mudhawu is certainly enjoying his tiem at Broadhurst- but who would not enjoy playing for a winning team?

Of the noise about not being beaten in ten games and holding a suspicious record of having beaten Chipoloplo, Marina did not bother Broadhurst- it was indeed just like the wincing sound of toothless guard dog.

PASCOS FC - a football joke

When they were beaten 14-4 by FC Broadhurst last month, PASCOS FC had a lame excuse that they had come as a depleted team and promised to set the record right by walloping FC Broadhurst but everyone knows that its only Chipolopolo who have the guts and ability to say and do that.

PASCOS FC was a bundle of nerves punctuated by their coming late to their home pitch while this past Sunday was a day for Broadhurst to do the unthinkable as they for the first time came early for a match. PASCOS went on to be beaten 17-2.

A third of the PASCOS team had no soccer boots though the urban legend has it that the whole team has boots, its only that they are comfortable playing on bare feet. But playing against Parkers and Mudhawu on bare feet is not a comforting thought, it’s a mad man’s suicidal wet dream.

The first 15 minutes saw PASCOS dictate the pace of the game and manage to keep Broadhurst in its own half with their bare footed playmaker Coster threatening to run circles within the midfield but that was before the midfield genius of Bra Hlo, Nick, Karabo and Simba took the reigns. Once that was done goals started coming and the question was when will PASCOS avenge its defeat.

If PASCOS really wanted to win they could have at least tried to shoot at goal and try one Kumbi who was in goals for Broadhurst. Kumbi’s body is proportioned in such a way that it is difficult for him to run, jump let alone dive and this was clearly visible to any one and PASCOS could have manipulated this to their advantage and tried shooting from afar. But they did not, instead tried walking the ball into the net and Broadhurst’s defense of Ronny, Parkers, Maqhawe and Mudhawu reminded them that this is taboo and alien.

The goal that PASCOS scored in the first half was a speculative shot from outside the box by the youngest of the three brothers who form the core of PASCOS. As expected Kumbi just raised his hands as if surrendering and that was PASCOS’ s goal. In second half their second and final goal of the afternoon was a toe poke by the bare footed Coster again from outside the box and this went wide and far from the reach of Zeal who was now in goals replacing Kumbi who was playing as a midfielder.

PASCOS should be disbanded and all their players be black listed from any football matters as they bring the game of soccer into disrepute. When the initial agreed time elapsed the referee blew the whistle to make the end of the match but lo and behold, PASCOS requested for an additional 20 minutes and one should not be fooled into thinking that they had improved their game and wanted to conjure a great comeback, turn the game on its head and go on to win- they don’t have a Stephen Gerrard, the master of comebacks. At that time the match was poised at 13-2 but with additional 20 minutes, 4 more goals went past the PASCOS goalminder.

Goal scorers for the day were Benjamin, Tinashe, Maqhawe, Zeal, Karabo, Bongani and Tsepang, yes Tsepang. Tsepang had had several chances that he had failed to convert and it seemed like he would not score until he managed to squeeze the ball between the goalie and the upright post. But in all honesty Tsepang was offside.

Coach Bongs put the final nail on the PASCOS coffin when he got to the end of a lovely pass from the right wing- a product of a cocktail of some fancy foot work by Tiego and Simba. The whole of PASCO cried for an offside whistle against Bongs but the beefy player coach was on side and the tired PASCOS defense could not even chase him as he dashed for goal; the keeper left his line to try and cut Bongs’ shooting options little did he know that Bongs had other ideas. As he got into the 18 yard area he did as if he were shooting only for the keeper to fall for the decoy and come down with a thud in the process spreading his legs so wide as one giving birth. Bongs rounded him and then put the ball into a yawning goal. This keeper surely got home with not only soil between his bums but stretch marks on his thighs and a swollen pelvis and groin as he spent most of the game down on his bums, legs stretched all over from the dribbling and his desperate stunts to keep the scoreline respectable.

PASCOS should be disbanded for real, when Maqhawe was substituted early in the first half due to some stomach cramps, Tinashe came in and played defense and there he was playing like a Dani Alves, always up field just as Maqhawe had been doing. Maqhawe is a Maicon for he can venture forward and be equally good defense wise but with Tinz that can not be said but PASCOS really made Tinz look like a good wing back as they never tested his defensive mantle.

Then Mozy who was out due to a nagging ankle injury came in for the second half and the formation was changed to 3-5-2 so that PASCOS could be further denied possession by being outnumbered in the midfield. Soon Broadhurst’s defense had two defenders as Mozy was now part of the midfield albeit on the right wing after realizing that PASCOS was not showing signs of seeking a win.

Zoro- should he be in goals or infield?

Last Sunday's two games further ignited the question that's been bothering most of us alot: should Zorodzai Murapa better known as Zoro be our outright striker since he is good at it or should he be an attacking midfielder which he is also good at?

The match between Happy People saw him start as a midfielder playing behind his brother Zeal who was partnering Benji upfront. He was accussed of "playing like Simba, delaying passes" Zeal even wondered; "i don't know how you two guys manage to combine well" before saying Zoro is selfish which many feel maybe a family thing since Zeal also denies striking partners passess when they are in better striking positions.

Zoro then went between the sticks in the second half and kept a clean sheet which had also been done by Tinz in the first half. But its the game with Vuvuzela in Oodi that saw stand goalkeeper Ronny and Thutsi let in goals that almost gave Vuvuzela a victory they did not deserve.

Zoro had been in goals in the larger part of the game with FC Broadhurst leading 3-1 and mid way through the second half, his cries for playing infield were finally heard by stand in coach Mozzy who got rocky defender Ronny take the goalie's jersey. But Ronny was more of a Morris Green-running all over the 18 yard area and it was a matter of time before Vuvuzela scored a second goal.

With a shaky Broadhurst that so desperately needed the referee's final whistle to blow, Thutsi went into and his immediate impact was to pick the ball from the nets and the biased referee certainly wanted a Vuvuzela victory as he let play go on into the dusty sunset of Oodi. All this long Zoro was upfront now partying in a six men strikeforce that had no cover from the midfield.

when a mouse squares off with a lion...

Once again violence reared its ugly head this past weekend when F C Broadhurst was involved in a titanic battle with Chipolopolo. So strong was the line up that light weight players found themselves warming the substitute's bench. Thulani, forming part of the contingency giving support from outside decided to fill coach Bong's sizeable boots as coach, this did not go down well with the players on the field of play as the stand in coach kept misfiring failing to read the game well, it soon got to boiling point as the disgruntled players on the field of play started voicing out their concerns so loud that it ended up reaching the ears of the stand in coach.Thuts of the ''aMasimba'' fame was at it again, This time throwing obscenities at rock solid defender Moza (''zimonya''). Well, ''zimonya'' as he is popularly known, kept his cool till the end of the match and then complained during the post match team talk because of the insults that had been hailed at him, to everyones utter surprise, Thuts was even frothing and burning with anger accuzing moza of disrespecting his authority. Senior members of the team Benji and Tinz had to stand up and order the two to behave and act more maturely, stressing out that vulgar was not tolerated in the team. Thuts even tried to keep shouting that if anyone was willing to tek the matter further he was up to it ''amana kana zvave zvemaoko uyai, tinozvigona futi''

However all the madness soon turned to soberness when ''zimonya'' walked towards him, sensing that he could jus be dismantled in a minute, he quickly started cooperating lest he found himself as the boy being hammered(above).

It was however encouraging to see players parting with smiles on their faces. All attempts to get hold of coach Bongs have been fruitless at the time of going to the press, but it would have been nice to hear what the coach thought of his players' behaviour.

Chipolopolo not invincible

The President's Holidays presented FC Broadhurst with another chance to fair its play against Chipolopolo, the fancied Zambians who have created a name for themselves as a mean machine in the social soccer league.

Broadhurst came into the Tuesday match buoyed by a 14-4 thumping of Pascos FC on Sunday in Mogoditshane. The Pascos match was the last match for Thando Silongwe as a bachelor and it gave him a perfect send off as he got his name on the score sheet. His goal came during normal open play: Broadhurst had in a FC Barcelona style, toyed with the ball around thereby severely tiring the Pascos midfield and defence and this allowed Thando who was the goalkeeper to leave the sticks and join the attack.

Thando could have scored a hatrick had it not been for Benjie's stinginess. When he finally got the final passes he needed; on right side and on the edge of the 18 yard area, he let go a hard and low shot that the goalkeeper could not even attempt to stretch for because of its supersonic speed. When defense stalwart Mozy scored a replica Charles Puyol stubborn header that brought Broadhurst's goals to a tally of 14, the referee blew the whistle not because the match was over but just to end Pascos' miserable day.

Such a display gave Broadhurst the verve and vigour to face the Zambians but Karabo was not brave enough as he did not turn up for the match. He is usually the first to arrive for matches but on Tuesday he was nowhere to be seen. Other noticeable shaky cold knees were that of Tiego who when seeing the Zambians who play in the Botswana Bemobile Premier league became a bundle of nerves and when he was picked to start as a substitute all was well with the playmaker's soul.

Broadhurst started on a good note, cancelling out every Chipolopolo attack and keeping the physically fit and agile professional footballers off the 18 yard area. But the obvious happened after a quarter of an hour had been played - Broadhurst conceded a goal that no one could be blamed for. It was a screemer from outside the 18 yard area that hit the top right corner of the goals before thudding way over of the goal line.

That goal was like a bullet through the hearts of Broadhurst as they went into 10 minute spell where they were just out of sorts. Another bullet hit the cross bar and Zoro only was good enough to catch the ball as it came off the wood work before another attempt for goal by the cheeky Zambians. Chipolopolo is a nickname for the Zambian National soccer team that means copper bullets.

The teams went for the half time break with the copper bullets leading by a goal to nil and self belief crept back into Broadhurst as they realised that there wasn't much to differentiate between them and their professional opponents. Broadhurst had just given too much respect for people who did not deserve it.

The fear of being blamed for missing chances when asked to shoot at goal saw Benjie and Tinz opt to pass the ball to the next player and this gave the Zambians valuable seconds to regroup. Maqhawe who was playing behind strikers got into a scoring position and he did not disappoint as he fired home Broadhurst's equaliser.

Broadhurst began to see more of the ball as the defenders, Ronny, Mozy, Freed and Mudhawu kept a high line of defense which made work easier for their midfielders who had one of their most tiresome matches ever. Bra Hlo played his usual game, refusing to be intimidated by the rather overrated Zambians: holding the ball and dribbling willy nilly and shuttling from his holding position in midfiled to the left side of the midfield. Ronny had been holding the midfield before dropping to defense following an injury inspired substitution of rocky Parkers. The substitution saw Tiego come in and join Maqhawe, Simba and Hlo in the midfield.

Before long Tiego got his name on the score sheet as he calmly dispatched a penalty that saw Broadhurst take a memorable 2-1 lead. Benjie got to the end of a lovely patient build up in the midfield and his long legs enabled him to dazzle his way past two defenders and leave him one on one with a goalkeeper who is half his hieght and as he was about to pull the trigger, he was hacked down from behind by a defender he had presumably left for for dead. The referee pointed to the penalty spot and the natural choice to take the spot kick was the sure boot of Tiego.

It remains debatable if Benjie would have scored had the defender not brought him down, considering his penchant of wanting to kill the goalie with thumping shots and volleys even when there is no need to: often the result is him skying his efforts over the cross bar.

Broadhurst could have gone 3 goals up from a Tinz free kick from just outside the 18 yard area. There was a resounding eeeeiiisshh when the ball floated past the cross bar just a few inches higher than recommended to condemn an already out of position goalkeeper who stood rooted on the other side of the goal. Tinz had earlier in the first half forced an acrobatic save from the goalie from a free kick following another foul on Simba on the edge of the box.

There was definitely no room for "lami ngifuna ukudladla" as it was a battle field that called for fighters with the necessary arsenal. Sam Gwanzura came in for Bra Hlo and he immediately got himself deeply involved in the midfield battle albeit in an unfamiliar role of holding midfielder. He is a natural attacking midfielder and stand in coach Thutsi got it all wrong again just as he had done all afternoon by pulling out Sam with ten minutes left on the clock and have himself come in and claim the anchorman's role. He could have kept Sam in and the drop Simba to the holding position and let Sam and Tiego conjure a win as victory now seemed certain although Chipolopolo had managed to squeeze in an equalizer.

Indiscipline reared its ugly head again when Thutsi's running mouth got him spewing vulgar and obscenities at Mozy who despite his visibly intimidating frame kept his cool and laughed off a Thutsi that was almost frothing in the mouth with baseless anger.

Mogoditshane gets a hiding

FC Broadhurst 9
Mogoditshane SDA FC 2

FC Broadhurst's free flowing football that culminated in the 9-2 demolition of Mogoditshane during last Sunday's encounter at Mogoditshane S.D.A FC's desert like pitch, poured water on Mogoditshane's squad rebuilding exercise.

For a team trying to rise from the ashes like the legendary Phoenix bird, such a drubbing in their backyard, drains the fight in the veins of Mogoditshane. There is still a long way to go for Mogoditshane as evidenced by their lack to over run an FC Broadhurst team that started match with 6 men on the pitch; it was a typical script for a wrestling handicap match whose obvious result is the disadvantaged team winning.

With six men Broadhurst holding a hapless Mogoditshane to a scoreline of two goals apiece, it needed not a rocket scientist to state that at full strength Broadhurst would rout their hosts. The game had many talking points with the epitome being Zeal's sterling performance: he did not shout at the referee and the opponents, he let his boots do the talking and when he was substituted the opposition bench joined Coach Bongs in congratulating him by clapping in appreciation.

As the game wore on, Mogoditshane won a penalty after Parkers made a late challenge on striker Mpho in the 18 yard area. Up stepped Maqhawe, arguably Mogoditshane's out standing player on the afternoon, with a posture of a premier league player it was a given that he would try to bring sanity to the scoreline which stood at 6-2 at that time by putting the ball beyond Thando's reach but alas and behold a breath taking acrobatic save from Thando denied Maqhawe a chance to hog the limelight.

Maqhawe who was already visualizing tomorrow's newspaper headlines let fly from his right boot a shot of blistering pass which at half way towards the goal curled towards the left bottom corner and clearly headed for the nets but the agile Thando had a couple of lessons to teach Maqhawe.

For once, Broadhurst had seven people on the bench an indication of the team's increasing strength. Mozy, Toffy, Simba, Tiego, Tinz, Tawurai and Tshepang were the substitutes who came in the second half for Broadhurst.

Broadhurst's goals came from every where with its midfielders chipping in with goals while the defence kept a line of defence that closed the gap between itself and the midfield therefore chocking Mogoditshane of space to manoeuvre. This strategy saw defenders like Tawu exchange passes with midfielders and setting up goals.

With a midfield solidly anchored by Ronny, Broadhurst toyed around with her host and like FC Barcelona, the Spanish Champions, Broadhurst played possession football punctuated by little triangular passes, mesmerizing off the ball runs and magical moments of individual brilliance.

The only blemish on Broadhurst's performance on the day was their inability to keep time. The agreed time for kick off was 9 am but the match had to start at 10:30 am as Mogoditshane threatened to call off the match, hence Broadhurst started the match five men short. At the appointed time, Benjamin, the team's fixtures manager, was playing romantic husband at home as he was preparing breakfast for his wife who was in bed.

But he atoned for his late coming by grabbing a hatrick. He made light work of Mudhawu the much fancied Mogoditshane hard tackling and often referred to as a "no nonsense defender." Many a spectator would have fancied Mudhawu to win the dual with Benji but the latter has quick long feet. With Mudhawu left for dead, Benji had the easiest of tasks of scoring though he believes in volleying thunderbolts past the goalie even when the easier thing to do is to calmly place the ball far and wide out of the reach of the keeper.

Broadhurst shakes things up

FC Broadhurst 4 (Zeal, Tiego, Toffy, Benji) Culture Spears 2

Playing in a Botswana Football Association (BFA) approved stadium should send shivers down the spines of any Sunday social soccer player but that was not the case with FC Broadhurst as they took on Culture Spears FC at Mogoditshane Fighters’ Stadium in Mogoditshane last Sunday.

The match was surely going to be an exciting one as it had all the ingredients of a thriller. Firstly both teams were wearing blue jerseys with the only difference being that jerseys for Culture Spears had a black strip just below the arm pits. Culture Spears was also wearing black shorts while Broadhurst was in blue shorts.

The first 5 minutes were packed with confusion as passes were misdirected but as the game wore on players got used to each other but no one knows how the referee managed to see if one was in an offside position.

Maybe if Culture Spears changes its name, they will play better soccer. Their name suggests that they are a group of dreadlocked dagga smoking Jamaican reggae music outfit.

FC Broadhurst was without its reliable defence duo of Mozy and Parkers while Tinz was absent thereby making Zeal the only striker available. No one knew why coach Bongs had gone to South Africa for over two weeks but the question was answered when his presence was underlined by that of Toffy.

Coach Bongs explained that he had to travel to South Africa and negotiate with Toffy’s university team so that he could beef up his midfield and also give him options when going forward. Benji was made to wear Mozy’s big boots and he was very comfortable in them as exhibited by him and Thando, his defence partner keeping a clean sheet when the teams went for the half time break. FC Broadhurst was leading 2-0. Theirs was more of a symbiotic relationship as Culture Spears’ strikers failed to find room to manoeuvre let alone test Thutsi who was in goals for Broadhurst

Since Benji’s scoring prowess is going to hell in a handbasket, coach Bongs might be tempted to permanently switch him into defence. It won’t be a first as professionals such as Dutch international and former Manchester United FC and Real Madrid goal talisman, Ruud Van Nisterol started his career as a defender before being turned into the merciless goal scorer he is today.

With Mozy still battling to shrug off a nagging injury, Benji has found a new home. Mozy and Parkers would have to fight for their numbers as the lanky player seemed to be sending the coach a message that “this is my right position, not where you usually play me.”

The match could have finished with Broadhurst having scores that can be counted with fingers from both hands had they utilized all their chances but the strike force of Zeal and Toffy took turns to fluff the chances. Toffy pleaded for clemency way before the kick off whistle stating that he had a sizeable break for soccer and feared it would compromise his play. It was just not his day and when he skied one effort over the cross bar with the goal keeper beaten and nowhere near him, there was a deafening aaahhh from the crowd that had come to watch their home team.

A tired Simba went into oblivion in the second half, while Bra Hlo kept tormenting Culture Spears on the left side of the midfield. Tiego was at his best again and his lovely performance was capped by a Lionel Messi inspired goal- he got a pass from Ronny and turned as if to pass the ball wide to Toffy who was calling for it, leading one midfielder to commit himself in that direction, he charged towards the 18 yard area in process subtracting two defenders with a drag and pull Adebayor control skill, he then rounded a visibly shaken goal keeper to net Broadhurst’s second goal.

Zeal had put Broadhurst in front with a blistering shot that a full stretched and diving Culture Spears goalie could not reach.

Pastor Ncube rescues Broadhurst

A visibly tired Broadhurst team needed divine intervention to avoid what was virtually an inevitable defeat having let go their two nil lead at half time allowing a nameless G-West team come from behind and shoot into a 3-2 lead.

Pastor Ncube who last played soccer in ages came in the second half just in the nick of time and the heavens surely rewarded the industry of the man of the cloth by letting his boot let loose a curling shoot that the goal keeper could only watch as it moved at supersonic speed past him. Infact even if he had reacted he could not reach for it as it was curling away from the centre of the goal and passing the goal line via the top corner of the goal.

Bra Hlo played another blinder of a game - running willy nilly at the opponents' midfielders and defenders. He was really enjoying himself and his spirit was willing to carry on but the flesh was now weak and stand in coach, Benjamin Sibanda pulled him out and in came Pastor Ncube.

The nameless G-West team had employed the services of one football vagabond, Zex in the hopes that he would terrorize Broadhurst but Parkers, Gideon and Thando had other ideas. The usually dependable Zex was belittled to an ordinary left footed footballer.

Zex and his team mates managed to pull back two quick goals courtesy of FC Broadhurst's tired legs. When they grabbed the third, it seemed as if Broadhurst had been relegated to another defeat but there was enough arsenal on the bench to salvage a draw.

But it did not have to end as a draw with Broadhurst holding on for dear life since they could have finished off the nameless team in the first half where the team enjoyed acres of space and possession, creating countless goal scoring opportunities. As become the norm, those scoring chances were squandered.

A win at last

It had to take a late Benjamin Sibanda strike during the sudden death segment of extra time for FC Broadhurst to register their first win in as many weeks.

Coming from two goals down and managing to level the scores in the second half, Marina threatened to condemn Broadhurst to another defeat but their lack of tactical awareness betrayed their aspirations as they allowed Tiego to detect the pace in the midfield.

Had Tiego been closed down, FC Broadhurst could have lost the match but the ran circles in Marina's half, spreading passes which ever he wanted and Hlo had a field day enjoying play on the left side of the midfield. The duo's combination resulted in a pass that saw Benjamin winning a penalty after being hacked down in the 18 yard box by an under pressure Marina Captain, Maphosa.

Tiego who had scored Broadhurst's two goals in the first half stepped up to take the penalty as he sought to bag his first hat-trick in Broadhurst colours but this remains an elusive dream for him as his penalty shot was brilliantly saved by an impressive Marina goal minder.

However, it would be 20 minutes later that Broadhurst would net its third and wrap up this thunder and lightning encounter that was a must win for Broadhurst following their 5-2 demolition by Chipolopolo last week at Wildlife Stadium.

Although Broadhurst was humbled by Chipolopolo, their performance on the day spelt of a team that is good and eager for results and it was Marina who had to suffer the wrath of the likes of Parkers, Ronny and Mozy whose body language reveals characters that are allergic to defeat.

The referee had to be substituted at half time as impartiality seemed to be Greek to him as he constantly gave decisions in favour of Marina and there are times when his team also could not believe his decisions. You surely can not keep a good man down as Broadhurst managed to surge into the lead during the first half. In the second half the referee cum player had the heavens to thank as he was nearly skinned alive by Parkers after he had verbally assaulted him as Tiego was preparing to take the penalty.

Coach Bongs gets it wrong

He had never lost and if he was going to lose it had to be in style and indeed it was in style, writes Simba Nembaware.

Sunday's encounter against Oodi based Vuvuzela (a Ndebele/Zulu word for sprinkle) had all the ingredients of a thrilling encounter as this was FC Broadhurst's first out of town match in as many seasons. This was also the day when for the first time the team had more than one substitute on the bench: it had six though only two were effective.

The departure time set for Oodi was 9 am but the team only left over an hour late as a three men strong negotiating party had to be sent to Benji's place and plead with his wife who had not only locked him in the house but also hid his soccer boots. When the visa was granted, all roads led to Oodi.

The first half went well because at the interval the visitors were leading 2-1 and the result remained the same for just over a quarter of an hour into the second before Coach Bongs pressed a self destruction button. He had made one change during the break, bringing in one lanky player who seemed to be good during warm ups but he was to create cracks on FC Broadhurst's defense wall had been well marshaled by Thando, Ronny and Thutsi. Thutsi was rested and another disappointing wing back entered the fray and by now Vuvuzela was really sprinkling its presence all over the visitors' 18 yard area. With no able support from the wings, the duo of Thando and Ronny finally gave in and the pacy hosts had a great feast.

Bra Hlo who was the right link in midfield was taken out and replaced by the team's goal keeper who naturally could not hold the ball with his feet. The coach's error was worsened by the injury inspired exist of Simba. He had been tasked to play the holding position in the midfield but his feet could not carry him anymore due to excruciating pain from his fibula; its been nagging him for a month now.

Benji had started the game at central defense but was shifted to right wing back "because he can't use his head" and later was thrust upfront to partner Zeal in strikeforce. The exist of Bra Hlo and Simba saw him being dropped into midfield so that he could partner Tiego and Zex. In a single game he had played all positions serve for goal keeping and that really summed up FC Broadhurst's day.

When the referee blew the final whistle it was 8-2 in favour of the hosts and Coach Bongs apologized to his charges; "I am the one to blame for today's loss, i wanted to accommodate everyone since we had traveled all the way down here and i wanted everyone to play. This won't happen again guys."

A twisted Easter Holiday

The Easter holiday provided FC Broadhurst with a well deserved stern test of their physic and technical awareness as they played a two legged match that they won on away goals rule after the tie had ended on Easter Monday in a 4 all goal aggregate.


Although both matches were played at Marang CJSS, it was agreed in principle that FC Broadhurst would be the home team in reverse fixture while hosts Sedudu FC were to be the visiting team on that day. Broadhurst won their away fixture by 3-2 and then lost their home fixture 2-1.

In the first match played on Friday, Tiego scored a brace while Toffy completed the scoring on a day that all of the team's departments were tested- from the goalkeeper to the strike force. The solitary goal on Monday came off the boot of Ronny. Vusa Mrava was back in goals and he did what he knows best-let in a silly goal when everyone thought he had the weak shot covered.

As Sedudu threatened to come back into the game, Coach Bongs replaced the comical Mrava in goals with Thutsi who had had another outstanding performance on the left wing of defense. He preserved the team's lead ahead of the reverse fixture that marked the return of goalkeeper Ndumiso "Ndumba" Mthombemi who was however on the losing end of the game. The match also marked the return to football for Gift Mawoyo who had last played soccer half a decade ago: he did not disappoint as signs of a footballer could still be seen in his runs and passes.

It was a really bad week for Ndumba as he had planned to celebrate his birthday in style on Wednesday but this was not to be as he was beaten twice thereby handing victory to Sedudu and then his team, Manchester United, was knocked out of the Champions League by Bayern Munich on Wednesday night.

The referee was provided by the host team and he failed to be impartial as he fouls on Toffy went unpunished and even an early penalty appeal by FC Broadhurst was ignored but the slightest of touches on a Sedudu player got more than extra attention from the referee. Coach Bongs seemed to have had enough of it as he walked onto the pitch after the referee had ignored a dangerous tackle by a Sedudu player on Ronny and then seconds later charge a foul against Broadhurst's Mozy for a fair challenge. Without mincing his words, Bongs put it to the referee in no uncertain terms that he should resist the temptation of favouring his team. Talk straight talk coupled with outbursts from Mozy saw the referee quit the match.

The referee's exist was more of good riddance to rubbish as the new referee, despite his tender age, took the game by the collar and controlled it well with no complaints from both sides.

Many were the talking points of the Easter holidays matches but chief among them was Benji's lack of patience. After calling for ball he stops running when he does not get an immediate pass which naturally gives defenders an advantage over him. It was realized that he has now developed a penchant of not chasing 50/50 balls with defenders.

Discipline was lacking during both fixtures and quite a number of players were found wanting. In the first fixture everyone felt undone by the biased referee but some players lost their cool and started arguing with the match official with one international based player saying "fuseki, refa sentle monna".

Thutsi was hacked down during one of his raids upfront on the left wing and all he cared about as he got up from the ground was to grab the Sedudu player's neck but thank heavens he could reach for him as he was limping and leaping on one leg. Heaven knows what would have happened if the Sedudu player had stood his ground and Thutsi had managed to hop up to him.



Another point of note was that both fixtures were played without Zeal and Tinz, the team's outright strikers. Benji was a lonely figure upfront but that did not matter as goals still came from the midfielders. All the team's four goals that it banged over the two fixtures were from midfielders thereby raising questions about Benji's ability to score in the absence of Zeal and Tinz. 

The return fixture saw Freedmore, Benji and Enock bring along their wives to cheer them. However the three ladies chose to seat in Freed's car and gossip all they wanted after they had been intimidated by the countless number of women who stood on the other side of the pitch cheering their "men".

It is hoped that lessons learnt over the Easter holidays will be put into practice this Sunday when Broadhurst takes on Kgalagadi Breweries at the National Stadium in a match that promises to be cracker as the alcohol manufacturers are frothing with anger after they were humbled by Broadhurst early last month. Broadhurst will still be without Tinz, while Parkers and Mozy will be absent however there are reports that Zeal, Tawu and Thando are back from the holidays.

FC Broadhurst gores Marina

Marina FC hold the unfamiliar title of being the only team to inflict damage to Chipolopolo’s amazing winning streak and as they took on FC Broadhurst yesterday, it was more of a given for them that victory was theirs as FC Broadhurst was still licking wounds from the unforgettable 5-1 defeat at the hands of Chipolopolo.


But Marina forgot that last week’s defeat was enough to incite an urge for better performance from Broadhurst as a consecutive defeat could not be entertained. It was a matter of egos that were bruised with no sign of mercy and it was a FC Broadhurst's turn to bruise the egos of Marina.

Once beaten twice shy- Coach Bongs was back on the bench to lead his charges. He pacified his wife by sending her on a shopping spree so that he could find time to out wit the doctors from Marina General Hospital. He immediately left after the game ended and no ill reports have been received from Mogoditshane implying all is well.

Employing Coach Bongs' attacking 4-3-3 formation, Marina were subjected to an avalanche of raids from the first whistle till close of play. Tawu partnered Mozy at central defense while Freed and Thando flanked them. Ronny was anchoring the midfield while Simba and Toffy completed the trio in midfield. Upfront was Zeal, Tinz and Benji.

A win over Marina was so crucial that coach Bongs could not rest Benji who joined the team at half time after a trip from Orapa. Signs of jet-leg could be seen in his game but he did not put a foot wrong although some felt he could have at least hit the back of the net after the referee had whistled him off-side: the lanky striker had skied his effort over the bar faced with a yawning goal.

Toffy, opened the scoring account for a match that would end 8-3 in favour of FC Broadhurst. Some people really know how to put into practice what they learn in class as exhibited by young Toffy who is studying Sports Science at South Africa's North West University. His industry in midfield told a story of a person who knows what he is doing - his deft touches resulted in well calibrated passes to the strikers.

Freed has been playing exceptionally well of late and it is unfortunate that mention is always given to goal scorers only. He had another sterling performance on the pitch and he capped the fine day's work by heading home his first goal of the season. It took long to come but it was worth the wait as it came at a time when Marina was now threatening to come back into the game. Toffy had won a corner just a quarter of an hour into the second half and as Ronny lined up to take it, Freed beckoned him to direct it to his forehead- and as it was in the days of David Beckham and Dwight Yorke, the goalkeeper could only pick the ball from the back of the net.

Not to be outdone by his defense colleague, Thando made a surging run on the right flank in the process out muscling his two markers, he then slid the ball to Tinz after selling a dummy to another defender who had ran over to assist his despairing teammates. Tinz then did a perfect rendition of typical Lionel Messi goals. He rounded an advancing goalkeeper and left him in a heap before curling the ball into the bottom far left end of the goal, way out of reach of a defender who was stretching his tired legs in futile attempt to prevent an inevitable reality.

With victory certain, FC Broadhurst started toying with Marina. Zeal received a flamboyant pass from Toffy and he said his thank yous to the young man by weaving his way through a thicket of Marina defenders and midfielders with the ball closely guarded at his feet. They tried to floor him but his big frame denied them, instead he literally left them for dead. He got them hacking each other as they now tried to prevent him from unleashing a thunderbolt of shot at goal. Two dreadlocked Marina defenders got into each other's way and all that could be seen were dreadlocks all over the place, a bundle of soccer boots and a smiling Zeal.

Marina tried hard to get back into the game but their midfield was denied space to manourve thereby starving their strikers. FC Broadhurst's defense kept a high line which meant more cover for its midfield while leaving Marina strikers in the offside position. Mozy and Tawu were now playing as midfielders and surely who could resist the sweet temptation as Marina seemed to have resigned, accepted defeat and merely waiting for the final whistle.

Chipolopolo mauls Broadhurst

If there is ever going to be a weekend that needs to be quickly forgotten, for FC Broadhurst players, it has to be that of 21 March 2010 when they were literally dissected by a Chipolopolo team that last lost a match in 2008, writes Simba Nembaware.

It was a weekend of mixed fortunes: For those in Botswana, Chipolopolo stretched their unbeaten run while FC Broadhurst had their ego severely bruised. In England, Liverpool saw their hopes for a fourth place finish in the premiership dealt a big blow when they lost 2-1 at Old Trafford to the Red Devils, while Chelsea let one hand off the title as they were held at Blackburn thanks to a late second half El Hadji Diouf header that nullified Didier Drogba's first half strike. Arsenal had bagged a trio of points the night before after shrugging off the challenge of their London rivals, West Ham.

Broadhurst walked into the Wildlife Stadium adjacent to SSG with their heads high and tails pointing upwards as it was on this very pitch that exactly seven days ago, the team had with sheer ease like a hot knife through butter dismantled Hamas, a team with a serious Muslim connection. It was more of Christians versus Muslims contest with the former walking away 7-2 victors. The Hamas match was still fresh in everyone's minds as it had pitied Benji against Enoch Mapindu, his brother in law, with Benji walking home with a smile as his brother in law was on the losing side.

But yesterday there was surely not going to be any smiles instead it was a picture of tails neatly tucked between hind legs. Before the game, the whole of Broadhurst team was excreting fear and it could smelt and felt when no one was brave enough to pick the team's starting eleven. "I have always wanted to pick the team but i cannot be made to pick it today because you guys will go about saying my team lost," said Packers vehemently refusing the baton stick that was later accepted by Zeal.

Umhedehede is a Ndebele word used to describe a condition when one's gut and bowels are weakened because of fright thereby creating a desire for an urgent use of the toilet. Freedmore had a serious attack of umhedehede and he was seen squatting behind a thicket of bushes that were a stone throw away. When he had relieved himself, he came jogging only to be greeted by a unison chorus "Ichi chinonzi Chipolopolo chinomamisa" (This is Chipolopolo, it makes you shit). Freed's actions highlighted the biblical saying - "For if they do these things in a green tree, what shall be done in the dry?" If such fright could be witnessed in stalwarts like Freed, then there was definately no hope for FC Broadhurst.

Coach Bongs was absent choosing to relax at home and watch the "Coca-Cola celebrate the goal" programme on Supersport. With the team's brains AWOL, the writing that was bold and clear on the wall was about Broadhurst's defeat.

The players managed to contain Chipolopolo who among their ranks is a former Township Rollers player. The bigger chunk of the game was a one all goal freeze: Broadhurst's goal came from the penalty spot after Tins had been brought down in the box. Tiego converted but Tins was severely injured and could not take further part in the game-he limped off the pitch. From that tackle, Tins got a battery of injuries and chief among them was a bruised lip and it is hoped that it will not affect his performance in other fixtures.

It was a just matter of time before the men in green and white stripes out did the flock that had no shepherd. Benji was quoted after the matching saying it was a tough match and the following day he was still smarting from the defeat when he posted on his facebook profile that his body was still aching after a toilsome match.

A rematch has been penciled for the first week of May 2010 and hopes are that by then FC Broadhurst would have got their act back together again but of urgent concern is next week's fixture against Marina FC.

Marina hold the bragging rights of being the team to ever inflict a defeat on Chipolopolo. One is easily forgiven for equating this to the grueling 14 days that the Gunners of London went through early this year when they faced Manchester United and Chelsea in consecutive premier league matches.

Zeal's quartet of goals puts Broadhurst back to winning ways

Sunday's match against Kgalagadi Breweries Ltd, a team whose unbeaten stretch precedes them before every match, was surely going to be a scintillating and tantalizing bout as FC Broadhurst walked onto the pitch with a bruised ego following their last week defeat by minnows Carli Clothing that marked the clubs first loss in 2010, writes Simba Nembaware.
The brewers of the wise waters employed dirty mind games before kick off- they labeled FC Broadhurst "Small Boys" and Zeal seemed to have taken it as a personal insult considering his bulk frame and he scored a quick brace when the match had commenced. This is the brace that poured water on the over rated brewers' game. Judging from the tone of his voice, Mozy has never been called a small boy - and he chose to prove who the small boys were on the field of play.

The 9 - 4 win had many talking points with the first being a clean sheet that was kept by Simba while he was in goals for a quarter of an hour that he was on the field. Zeal got his brace while Simba was between the sticks coordinating well his defense. Zeal was to prove that he's a man of many talents as in the second half he played as the goalkeeper who let in two goals.

It should be hastened to note that Kgalagadi Breweries Ltd's players were not drunk - they were sober as the match was played in the morning at 10 o'clock. None of the players had a hang over lest their defeat be attributed to a night of bliss punctuated with the imbibing of alcohol. On their bench was a trio of managers while FC Broadhurst only had the singular familiar face of Bongs who however was the match's referee meaning noone was to bark instructions at his team: but maybe he needs not to bark as he prefers talking before the match, during half time and after the match.  

The game marked the return of Karabo "Skara" who capped a sterling performance in the midfield by scoring a penalty. He seemed to be carrying a lot of burden as his midfield partner, (Player With No Name) had a penchant of going forward and not returning back to his position.

Benji was at the heart of defense, partnering Mozy in central defense and it really a first to see Benji not straying out of position. He is surely growing in terms of positional and technical discipline. Bra Hlo was pulling the strings in the midfield while Ronny was taking care of business from the left back position. Bra Hlo eased the pressure at the centre of the pitch by spraying the ball wide which in turn also gave his defense composure and breathing space.

Freedmore was to come in and push bra Hlo wide to the wing and have the central midfield to himself but his team mates say this was the turning point of the match as the brewers begun dominating play. Ronny found himself marking two people and it was inevitable that the brewers would finally find the back of the net.

Before taking it onto the field of play Freedmore had confided in this reporter that he was going to score his first goal of the season and his desire to score explains why he lacked positional discipline as he often ventured forward leaving gaps in the midfield.

Just like Drogba and Anelka at Chelsea, Tinz and Zeal have proved that they can not be played in the same team. Anelka thrives on Drogba's absence and Zeal just did that yesterday. He was a joy to watch, bringing flashing images of his hey days at Central where he would hold the ball, bring his midfielders into play then create space for other to play before positioning himself well for that final shot at goal. He could have scored more than four but history records that a hatrick is every player's dream and what more could he wish for than to add one more goal to his hat-trick.

For the team's progress, Tinz and Zeal have to learn to play together and feed off each other while Freed and Thutsi need positional discipline. An out right goalkeeper is a major concern for such a high scoring team - the rear guard is always good considering the exploits of Packers, Mozy, Ronny, Tsvangirai but their oustanding performances are always undone by the likes of Vusa Mrava.

Broadhurst eats humble pie

FC Broadhurst's unbeaten run came to an abrupt end yesterday following a 7-5 defeat by Carli Clothing at UB Stadium in a match whose outcome was decided single handedly by comic goalkeeper Vusa Mrava whose exploits were enough for the moomish of the week award.

The team's line of defence was dubious, the midfield was lacking while there was no cohesion up front in the strikeforce. Despite these problems the team found themselves leading 3-2 at half time and it all seemed like one of those mornings when 3 points had been grabbed but it was before Vusa Mrava started his antics - trying to stop a bolt of a shot with the studs of his over sized boots. Each time he did that the ball sneaked through and hit the net and he seemed not to learn from his mistake as he did that unbelievable move three times.

Faces of dejection summed the story of a team whose best players on the day were Tawurai and Moses who were playing for Carli Clothing. They did not play like mercinaries, instead they laid bare FC Broadhurst's lack of positional discipline, winning mentality, tactical awareness and a desire to win.

Benjamin and Thutsi were the major culprits on positional discipline as they strayed away from their positions leaving voids that the opponents gladly filled and manipulated with perfect execution leading to them dominating a match that was not meant to be theirs. This duo has a penchant for being where the ball is especially when the team has possession and is attacking but then the pair is an emboidment of disappointment when the team is suddenly under attack and they have to dash back to their positions and avert danger.

Instead of using the offside rule to their advantage, Shamwari and Alex combined well at the back to always keep the opponents on-side a norm that should not have been considering the person between the sticks for Broadhurst. The keeper seemed to have premeditated this defeat as he seemed unpertubed by angry mumblings of his team mates.

Before the match, Mrava had made fun of his opposing number who had his hands raised towards the heavens as he sought devine intervention and the innocent looking teenager surely got his desire as Zeal, Tinashe, Benji, Thulani, Freedmore and Alex took turns of either shooting off target, shooting tamely, straight and weakly at the goalie or just losing their footing at the most critical moment.

Fixtures manager challenged

Following another convincing win over the weekend, Benjamin Sibanda, FC Broadhurst Fixtures Manager has been called to seek better opponents as the team seeks challenging encounters.

It comes as no surprise that none of the team's players even knows the name of the team they beat 5-3 this past Sunday and this punctuates the mediocre state of that day's opponents. Playing Coach Bongs' favourite formation of 4-3-3, Broadhurst went for the half time break leading 3-0 though the margin could have been arrogantly wider had Benji been clinical with his finishes - he chose power when the easier thing to do was to place the ball beyond a hapless keeper.

Letting the foot off the paddle in the second half got the Broadhurst's nameless opponents a chance to grab three quick goals and there was nothing the coach could do as he was the game's referee. But experience won the day as the team managed to regroup and put the game beyond reach by two well orchestrated goals.

This is the match that saw Thutsi play a blinder - making surging runs from right back and swinging into the 18 yard area tempting dangerous crosses. The opponents had "killed" his wing opting to attack through the centre of the park and via the left wing but their game plan flopped.

Instead of celebrating victory players led by Zeal Murapa who had been very wasteful in front of goal in the second half, urged the fixtures manager to find better opponents as the team is now tired of easy wins that some likened to "stroll in the park."

The message seems to have been heard as Benji quickly organised a match with Chipolopolo who looked like a team to beat and humble according to their display during a match at the National stadium arena this past Sunday. Two of their easily noticed players are their wide right midfielder who seems to like running at defenders and their striker who is skillful.

FC Broadhurst honours Valentine's day

The woman power was really felt as Broadhurst F C suspended this weekend's match to allow players time to be with their loved ones on Valentine's day

The eagerly awaited return leg between Broadhurst F C and Gaborone central F C was postponed to a later date to be advised, as Valentine's day claimed its first of a number of scalps. With Gaborone Central F C raring to go and itching for revenge of the defeat they suffered earlier in the season, Broadhurst F C had to issue an emergency apology as most of the players were committed to other fixtures which could not be postponed.

Impeccable sources say that Mr Benjamin Sibanda (mukwerekwere) cancelled the Central game on short notice as he, together with the notorious duo of Freedmore Sidume (my ball my ball) and Thulani Moyo (amasimba) had planned to spoil their wives and enjoy a valentine's camp out as couples. The outing is understood to have been planned in a cloud of secrecy.

This decision however, did not go down well with players like Rony, Tinashe, Simba and Zeal who just can't spend a weekend without doing what they know best: which is showcasing their skills on the field of play. Mr Moses Vurayai also had to suffer a great disappointment as he had to stay home after a fierce battle with his wife to obtain a visa for today's match. As understanding as they usually are, the rest of the players posted a message on their website wishing the valentine trio success on their respective fixtures, it was still however not known whether a referee would have been needed for these matches.

On a positive note, one commentator noted that the move to cancel the fixture may prove to be one which is worthwhile in future, as after spoiling partners (whether in the bush or in Gaborone) on valentines day, it is expected that there will be an increase in the number of approved visas for future fixtures, and that the team will be with full tanks in the next matches.

Until next week, peace out!!!

Indiscipline rears its ugly head again

The month of January was capped by another sterling performance by FC Broadhurst as they ran riot over a hapless Gaborone West based Proper Soccer FC, claiming victory with an intimidating 9-0 scoreline. The game also marked the return of Freedmore Sidume, Thando and young Vusa Mlava, writes Simba Nembaware.

Freedmore had a lovely day playing from left back while Thando was good at central defence and the icing on his cake of performance was him scoring his first goal of the season, albeit with a deflated ball. Thando would later go on goals at maintain a clean sheet as had been done by Mlava in the first half. The young Mlava left at the start of the second half with the coach's blessings presumably to do his homework.

But such performances were overshadowed by a moment of indiscipline which saw Thulani verbally assaulting Coach Bongs saying the coach was talking amasimba (Zulu slang for bullshit). Reports say what irked Thulani was the coach telling Simba to disregard Thutsi's call for him to release the ball to him but instead chip the ball forward for Ronny who was edging towards the opposition's 18 yard area.

This bruised Thulani's ego considering that prior to the match, Coach Bongs and Vusa Mlava had vehemently denied Thulani the opportunity to select the team. Coach Bongs was to pick a 4 -3-3 formation based team that translated to Thulani starting on the bench.

His reaction to the coach's sentiments was him vowing not to mark anymore and this caused a strain on Parkers and Moses who now found themselves having alot of work to do as Thulani was now literally a passenger on the field. And as the match ended, he walked off the pitch saying loud enough to everyone's attention that "kulabantu abasidlalisa amasimba" (there are people bullshitting us). It did not make sense to other players and the coach himself who had to ask who that person was and to his surprise he learnt that it was him.

Freed tried to quell the assuming rage of fire by pouring water on it, dismissing the coach's instructions as the usual casual talk associated with the team when its winning but Thulani would have nothing of it instead choosing to stick to his "amasimba" rhetoric. Thulani seemed unfazed with the presence of Pastor Ncube.

However sources at Coach Bong's Moditshane residence say the coach and the player have since made peace following a telephone conversation the duo had later during the day.

This is not the first time that a Broadhurst player has exhibited indiscipline. After being judged to be offside during a tension filled match against Gaborone Central last season, Benjamin who is an ordained deacon at Broadhurst S.D.A Church, kicked the ball out of the pitch; so far away that the referee had no option but to blow the whistle and end the game.

Of soccer players and visas

Gaborone - While it is universally acknowledged that football is the best thing to ever happen to a man's Sunday programme, it should also be recognised that the women in our lives hold the keys to a man's availability for a game of soccer.

Many a time have FC Broadhurst players committed themselves to coming early for their next fixture but this has not been as players like Freedmore Sidume, Thulani Moyo, Justice, Benjamin Sibanda, Moses Vurayai often have approval for their visas to leave home for a game of football stalled by their life partners.

The most recent casualty of a visa denial is hard running midfielder, Freedmore Sidume whose application has been turned down twice this season while Benjamin Sibanda has a of late been leaving the house camouflaged as one going outside to water the garden only to leave the bucket by the gate and return home at 2pm to an angry wife. No one knows as yet how he manages to sneak out with his boots but unconfirmed reports are that he leaves his boots with Tinashe Mutize while other reports suggest that he wears his boots as he goes to water the garden only for him to dump the bucket at the gate and climb over the gate and run as fast as his feet can carry him.

Moses Vurayai came out clear last sunday, revealing that "it is wishful thinking guys to say we can make it here at 8:30 in the morning, maybe if we say 9:30" because some players have to first fulfill some fixtures at home before they can come for "other" fixtures. Vurayai revealed that failure to fulfill the morning fixtures may lead to severe sanctions and regrettable consequences.

There are however players like Parkers who are known to be bachelors but have always stunned team mates and the coach also as they also apply for a visa from undisclosed officers. Maybe its high time the team went for camp on the eve of each match. This will save the team from having players coming for a match on an empty scrotum, painful back and a divided mindset.

This comes on a backdrop of the team's good start to the season: 9 points from the first three matches with the team showing excellent cohesion though a serious goal keeper is needed. The team's defence is capable of keeping a clean sheet but it is let down by the absence of a good goal keeper. The team's two goalkeepers; Vusa "Mlava" and Ndumiso Mthombeni, are now in form 5 and at university respectively meaning they now need more time with their books but sources close to the pair reveal that even on sundays when they have the day to themselves, the duo has now turned to the vocation of entertaining those of the fairer sex.

The day Tinashe didn't score

Gaborone- FC Broadhurst collected maximum points against bitter city rivals Gaborone Central last sunday in a 9 goal thriller that saw the striking duo of Benjamin and Tinashe fail to register their names on the score sheet, for the first time in as many games.

But it was Tinashe's failure to score on a morning that saw "prodigal son", Zeal grab a hat trick, that hogged the limelight as it has become certain that he scores in every game. It just not his day but however he went home with a merry heart as he had a trio of assists.

Maybe this is the turning of a new leaf for a player often criticised, even by one Cephas of struggling G West FC, of being able not to pass the ball to his team mates. Three assists are no fluke that the player is coming to the realisation and full understanding of the word "teamwork".

Benjamin also failed to score, with the other goals coming from Toffy whose constant sterling performance week in week out, can not be over emphasised. Toffy grabbed a brace to cap yet another beautiful day on the wide side of the midfield. Does this therefore imply that Benjamin and Tinashe feed off each other? If so then this will present problems for Coach Bongs who has vowed not have the duo in same line up. The coach's arguement is that the pair rarely passes the ball to any other play instead "Benji" chooses to pass the ball to "Tinz" who also kindly returns the favour regardless of which part of the field his striking partner would be at.

The coach's wrath over the pair's unsporting behaviour was trebled during one game when the coach himself was playing. He was a in a good scoring position, just by the edge of the 16 yard area when Tinz got a pass from Simba with the only logical and possible thing to do was to turn to his right and slide the ball to a Bongs who was calling for it. Maybe Tinz goes deaf to other voices on the pitch except for that of Benji, because instead of passing his long suffering coach, Tinz turn to his left and tried to scoop the ball to his Benji who was clouded by a thicket of defenders.

That marked the end of wonderful move that had seen Thutsi make an unusual successful run on the right flank. "Yikho ngingafuni ukulidlalisa loyiTwo (that's why i don't want to play the two of you at the same time)," was how Coach Bongs reacted to Tinz's move.

Prodigal son returns home

Gaborone - The much anticipated city derby lived upto its billing with FC Broadhurst walking away with the much coveted 3 points while a hat trick by new signing Zeal was the talking point of the 9 goal thriller, writes Simba Nembaware.

It has become the norm that a player always scores in a match when he plays against his former club and "our prodigal son" did fulfill this belief by scoring three goals against his former club, Gaborone Central FC. Zeal's joining of Broadhurst was a matter of time and patience as the bulky player exhibited signs of frustration during the closing months of year 2009 during this rather subdued stay there.

The 2010 season's opener saw was the routing of out of sorts and hapless G-West FC by already on fire FC Broadhurst and it is during this match that Zeal is reported to have nicodemously hinted to the troublesome duo of Benjamin Sibanda and Tinashe Mutize that he wants to play for FC Broadhurst. He got his full club debut at Bus Rank - Fire Stadium when FC Broadhurst dispatched an over confident Gaborone Hotel FC 6-1. He did not score during this match but his dominating figure in the middle of the park was enough problems for Gaborone Hotel.

Sources at FC Broadhurst say Zeal owes his full debut against Gaborone Hotel to the absence of Freedmore Sidumbe whose visa had expired. Sidumbe's absence saw Zeal take the anchor man's role again in the 5-4 win over Central during the much waited for sunday match at Maoka. While it is good news that the prodigal son is finally back, questions have already started pilling up on the formation that Coach Bongs is set to use as he now has Zeal, Ronny and Sidumbe for the same position.

After being exposed to a barrage of attacks from Zeal during his hey days at Central, no nonsense central defender, Moses Vurayai believes the "the lost boy" will be more effective as a striker as he is able to use his stature to out muscle and intimidate defenders. If this is to happen then either Tinashe or Benjamin will have to get accustomed to warming the bench or dropping into midfield. But Benjamin has already shown that the midfield is not his favourable position as he played out of position during Broadhurst's demolishing of Gaborone Hotel thereby exposing his midfield partners of the day: Simba, Hlo and Zeal.

As the squad continues to strenthen, Coach Bongs' wits will be brought to the fore as he will be expected to maintain his winning streak while also affording all his players even playing time on the pitch or risk frustrating players into walking out on the club.