Chipolopolo mauls Broadhurst

If there is ever going to be a weekend that needs to be quickly forgotten, for FC Broadhurst players, it has to be that of 21 March 2010 when they were literally dissected by a Chipolopolo team that last lost a match in 2008, writes Simba Nembaware.

It was a weekend of mixed fortunes: For those in Botswana, Chipolopolo stretched their unbeaten run while FC Broadhurst had their ego severely bruised. In England, Liverpool saw their hopes for a fourth place finish in the premiership dealt a big blow when they lost 2-1 at Old Trafford to the Red Devils, while Chelsea let one hand off the title as they were held at Blackburn thanks to a late second half El Hadji Diouf header that nullified Didier Drogba's first half strike. Arsenal had bagged a trio of points the night before after shrugging off the challenge of their London rivals, West Ham.

Broadhurst walked into the Wildlife Stadium adjacent to SSG with their heads high and tails pointing upwards as it was on this very pitch that exactly seven days ago, the team had with sheer ease like a hot knife through butter dismantled Hamas, a team with a serious Muslim connection. It was more of Christians versus Muslims contest with the former walking away 7-2 victors. The Hamas match was still fresh in everyone's minds as it had pitied Benji against Enoch Mapindu, his brother in law, with Benji walking home with a smile as his brother in law was on the losing side.

But yesterday there was surely not going to be any smiles instead it was a picture of tails neatly tucked between hind legs. Before the game, the whole of Broadhurst team was excreting fear and it could smelt and felt when no one was brave enough to pick the team's starting eleven. "I have always wanted to pick the team but i cannot be made to pick it today because you guys will go about saying my team lost," said Packers vehemently refusing the baton stick that was later accepted by Zeal.

Umhedehede is a Ndebele word used to describe a condition when one's gut and bowels are weakened because of fright thereby creating a desire for an urgent use of the toilet. Freedmore had a serious attack of umhedehede and he was seen squatting behind a thicket of bushes that were a stone throw away. When he had relieved himself, he came jogging only to be greeted by a unison chorus "Ichi chinonzi Chipolopolo chinomamisa" (This is Chipolopolo, it makes you shit). Freed's actions highlighted the biblical saying - "For if they do these things in a green tree, what shall be done in the dry?" If such fright could be witnessed in stalwarts like Freed, then there was definately no hope for FC Broadhurst.

Coach Bongs was absent choosing to relax at home and watch the "Coca-Cola celebrate the goal" programme on Supersport. With the team's brains AWOL, the writing that was bold and clear on the wall was about Broadhurst's defeat.

The players managed to contain Chipolopolo who among their ranks is a former Township Rollers player. The bigger chunk of the game was a one all goal freeze: Broadhurst's goal came from the penalty spot after Tins had been brought down in the box. Tiego converted but Tins was severely injured and could not take further part in the game-he limped off the pitch. From that tackle, Tins got a battery of injuries and chief among them was a bruised lip and it is hoped that it will not affect his performance in other fixtures.

It was a just matter of time before the men in green and white stripes out did the flock that had no shepherd. Benji was quoted after the matching saying it was a tough match and the following day he was still smarting from the defeat when he posted on his facebook profile that his body was still aching after a toilsome match.

A rematch has been penciled for the first week of May 2010 and hopes are that by then FC Broadhurst would have got their act back together again but of urgent concern is next week's fixture against Marina FC.

Marina hold the bragging rights of being the team to ever inflict a defeat on Chipolopolo. One is easily forgiven for equating this to the grueling 14 days that the Gunners of London went through early this year when they faced Manchester United and Chelsea in consecutive premier league matches.