It took long to come but there had always been a belief within FC Broadhurst that beating the mighty Zambians was a possibility that only time and occasion knew when it would become reality.
16 January 2011 goes down in history as the day when professional footballers disguised as Chipolopolo, a social football outfit was beaten by a bunch of no names in the game of football.
The weather was fine: it had been raining all night and the rain had subsided, the sun was somewhere behind the grew clouds, and the pitch had drained well effectively setting the mood for a gruelling encounter.
As a show of his intent to play, Zeal wrote to fellow team mates a message on Facebook in his native Shona language "ngatiroweyi chipolopolo mumvura" lets beat Chipolopolo in the rain. And Zeal was to pull one goal back just before the half time break to make the scoreline 3-1, a bit respectful and give the trailing team the reason to play even better.
At half time the Broadhurst could have been the one leading and surely by an unimaginable scoreline had the strikers put away the chances that they got. Chipolopolo were under siege for the initial 20 minutes of the game and it was during this time that Broadhurst fluffed numerous chances of taking the lead.
When Chipolopolo finally got their chances they did not waste them. In honest truth, their goals were neither out of this world or convincing serve to say three of them were from "disputed" offside positions.
Coming from a 3-1 low at half time and close the day with a 5-4 win is testament of how much work was put into securing a win. Chipolopolo were physically fit and made their presence felt on players who had eaten loads of salads, ice cream, meat and other fats the previous day at church while they themselves when burning the calories in the gym. But Broadhurst compensated their handicap with skill and a remarkable work rate.
Nick was once again at his best, making things happen in midfield. Never has he ran like that: the desire to win was so much pronounced in every loose ball that he chased and in every tackle that he made. Thrice injured in the first half, he face seemed to say i still want to contribute something in this match when at half time Coach Bongs rested him for Tiego.
Coming in with a broken toe, Tiego carried on from where Nick had left and soon goals were coming. Leon, the new signing was a joy to watch as he combined with Tiego, Bra Hlo going forward supplying the strikers. He also dropped to add bodies in defence: he seemed not to get tired.
The victory came in the absence of team regulars, Moseh, Benjamin, Karabo, Mudau. Young Dondada was thrown into the deep just towards the close of the game and the young man got another lesson on the need to improve his fitness. But with time, the player in him will blossom and maybe relegate Moseh and Packers to the bench.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Friday, November 5, 2010
Caught on camera: Episode 2
Coach Bongs speaks out: "A certain striker brought a pair of stiletos and a figure belt to the game on Sunday. He was in an unusual happy mood and in top form scoring with every touch. One goal he controlled by a certain part in his groin area then assumed a horizontal position in mid air and poked the ball to score in a good goal. It's unclear at this point whether the shoes and belt belong to him or a female companion because of late he has been using a double barrel surname; a practise common with married women who don't want to lose their maiden names.
The story continues... In a bid to cover this from team mates the striker put the stiletos and belt in my car. With recent Zeal back problems, Packers missing for two weeks coming to concede penalties, Nicky missing on Sunday- the team has had many women related problems and the striker could have faced the wrath of the team.
Myself being married, Tinashe Ashley Sibanda Mutize thought people would not mind seeing stiletos in my car. He however forgot to get his thngs after the game. Now am with my wife happily driving around and she sees.... you rightly guessed it a pair of stiletos and a figure belt. How could anyone explain that really gentlemen. Can't say they are for a male teammate. It will look like am cheating with a guy worse. Of all married guys i havent had issues with visas but with such asazi. Its like Sheron finding soil between Benji's bums. As a result i shall miss Sunday's game in an effort to pliz the wife. I will be taking her on a shopping holiday trip which a certain striker has to fully pay for. So Kumbi and i will be with our wives ths weekend.
The story continues... In a bid to cover this from team mates the striker put the stiletos and belt in my car. With recent Zeal back problems, Packers missing for two weeks coming to concede penalties, Nicky missing on Sunday- the team has had many women related problems and the striker could have faced the wrath of the team.
Myself being married, Tinashe Ashley Sibanda Mutize thought people would not mind seeing stiletos in my car. He however forgot to get his thngs after the game. Now am with my wife happily driving around and she sees.... you rightly guessed it a pair of stiletos and a figure belt. How could anyone explain that really gentlemen. Can't say they are for a male teammate. It will look like am cheating with a guy worse. Of all married guys i havent had issues with visas but with such asazi. Its like Sheron finding soil between Benji's bums. As a result i shall miss Sunday's game in an effort to pliz the wife. I will be taking her on a shopping holiday trip which a certain striker has to fully pay for. So Kumbi and i will be with our wives ths weekend.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Caught on camera
Of late there's so much that has been happening to our team and we have set out to unearth the source of these misdemeanors. Preliminary findings suggest that the forces causing our players to have broken backs; have uncontrollable tempers; carry tennis rackets in their car boots; and fail to wash the kit among other things, come as a result of women clouding the players' minds.
Now the camera has been rolling and there is a dossier of evidence that will help the management put these matters to bed. And the holy book rightly puts it- nothing done under the cover of darkness shall remain a secret.
And everyone always thought Nick was a weak! Well a closer look at this picture doesn't suggest the lad is weak- what makes him weak is what he does before the night before the game.
Some players are allegedly engaged in "weight lifting" but at a church concert held last weak, the player who has bragged in public that he carries weights in excess of 200 kilograms, was in the company of a lady who is estimated to be weighing just over 60 kilograms.
At the same concert was one left footed midfield who has been gaining weight and he too was in the company of one from the fairer sex. Maybe he thought this was a hide out spot and no one would see him because he hastened to claim that the lady was his cousin. Well he left before the concert was over.
Now the camera has been rolling and there is a dossier of evidence that will help the management put these matters to bed. And the holy book rightly puts it- nothing done under the cover of darkness shall remain a secret.
And everyone always thought Nick was a weak! Well a closer look at this picture doesn't suggest the lad is weak- what makes him weak is what he does before the night before the game.
Some players are allegedly engaged in "weight lifting" but at a church concert held last weak, the player who has bragged in public that he carries weights in excess of 200 kilograms, was in the company of a lady who is estimated to be weighing just over 60 kilograms.
At the same concert was one left footed midfield who has been gaining weight and he too was in the company of one from the fairer sex. Maybe he thought this was a hide out spot and no one would see him because he hastened to claim that the lady was his cousin. Well he left before the concert was over.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Benji at it again
Benjamin Sibanda, also known as Bhebhi in other qaurters is a man who never runs out of ideas of not only suprising his teammates and his "lovely wife" but even himself.
This past Sunday he excused himself from FC Broadhurst's match against lowly ranked PASCO FC on the pretext that he had a business meeting with an unnamed client at Main Mall. Instead of staying home and ready himself for the supposed business meeting, he rose early morning to join ranks with Mogoditshane SDA Church who were playing that morning.
In a telephone interview, Bhebhi revealed that he chose to snub Broadhurst because he had a meeting but because he wanted to play soccer he had to go and play for Mogoditshane "since they start early while you (Broadhurst) guys are always late."
"I cannot leave umfazi wami omnandi (my juicy wife) at home and wait for people who come late, at least with these guys i play and go back home to my lovely Shez (Shez is his wife)," said Benji who is always late even for a match scheduled for 10am, before switching off his mobile phone.
The city of Gaborone is currently hosting a circus by the open field at the Main Mall.Well the cat let itself out of the bag later in the afternoon when Shez sent an sms to this reporter gloating that she was having a time of her life at the circus.
Further investigation by this reporter revealed that Shez was actually texting while riding on the back of a circus elephant...yes she was with Bhebhi.
Overwhelmed with joy of being ontop of big mammal Bhebhi texted this reporter using his juicy wife's phone: "asigandanga sigadile, ungabodladla". For starters, "ungabodladla" is a word that was coined by guys at FC Broadhurst and it is unique to them. Now, Shez is renowned for her disdain of soccer and she could not therefore have suddenly fallen in love with soccer to such levels that she can construct a sentence with the word ukudladla.
He then ceased communicating further when pressed on why he had sabotaged over two dozens of men by arranging a match that he did not want to attend. This is not the first time that he has sabotaged the team this way: last month he organised a match with a UB Graduate School team but on the day of the match he was nowhere to be seen. He had lied to his wife that he was going to Ronny's place from whence they would come for the Graduate School match. He left his phone at home and the poor juicy wife had to call the whole of Gaborone looking for Bhebhi who was neither with FC Broadhurst nor his phone.
With a fuming wife at home, Bhebhi conjured a scheme of buying himself time to soothe the frothing Shez. He hastened to organise a business trip to South Africa that afternoon and even to date noone really knows if he crossed the border.
Two months back he lied to his wife that he was meeting a client at BBS Mall when infact he was travelling for a game of soccer in Oodi. This is the day when he came home to a wife who wanted him to explain why he had soil between his toes and bums.
Of late he has been dressing like South Africa's former jail bird and fraudster, Freddie Gwala of the "amadamara" fame. God forbid if he aspiring to be a Freddie Gwala
This past Sunday he excused himself from FC Broadhurst's match against lowly ranked PASCO FC on the pretext that he had a business meeting with an unnamed client at Main Mall. Instead of staying home and ready himself for the supposed business meeting, he rose early morning to join ranks with Mogoditshane SDA Church who were playing that morning.
In a telephone interview, Bhebhi revealed that he chose to snub Broadhurst because he had a meeting but because he wanted to play soccer he had to go and play for Mogoditshane "since they start early while you (Broadhurst) guys are always late."
"I cannot leave umfazi wami omnandi (my juicy wife) at home and wait for people who come late, at least with these guys i play and go back home to my lovely Shez (Shez is his wife)," said Benji who is always late even for a match scheduled for 10am, before switching off his mobile phone.
The city of Gaborone is currently hosting a circus by the open field at the Main Mall.Well the cat let itself out of the bag later in the afternoon when Shez sent an sms to this reporter gloating that she was having a time of her life at the circus.
Further investigation by this reporter revealed that Shez was actually texting while riding on the back of a circus elephant...yes she was with Bhebhi.
Overwhelmed with joy of being ontop of big mammal Bhebhi texted this reporter using his juicy wife's phone: "asigandanga sigadile, ungabodladla". For starters, "ungabodladla" is a word that was coined by guys at FC Broadhurst and it is unique to them. Now, Shez is renowned for her disdain of soccer and she could not therefore have suddenly fallen in love with soccer to such levels that she can construct a sentence with the word ukudladla.
He then ceased communicating further when pressed on why he had sabotaged over two dozens of men by arranging a match that he did not want to attend. This is not the first time that he has sabotaged the team this way: last month he organised a match with a UB Graduate School team but on the day of the match he was nowhere to be seen. He had lied to his wife that he was going to Ronny's place from whence they would come for the Graduate School match. He left his phone at home and the poor juicy wife had to call the whole of Gaborone looking for Bhebhi who was neither with FC Broadhurst nor his phone.
With a fuming wife at home, Bhebhi conjured a scheme of buying himself time to soothe the frothing Shez. He hastened to organise a business trip to South Africa that afternoon and even to date noone really knows if he crossed the border.
Two months back he lied to his wife that he was meeting a client at BBS Mall when infact he was travelling for a game of soccer in Oodi. This is the day when he came home to a wife who wanted him to explain why he had soil between his toes and bums.
Of late he has been dressing like South Africa's former jail bird and fraudster, Freddie Gwala of the "amadamara" fame. God forbid if he aspiring to be a Freddie Gwala
Friday, August 27, 2010
Almost doesn't count
We almost beat Military Police last week at the army base in Mogoditshane, unfortunately we lost 5-4 thanks to the team's lack of fitness, lack of clinical finishing in front of goal and unbelievable goal keeping.
It is a public secret that FC Broadhurst lacks physical fitness and this flaw has often resulted in them conceding silly goals and at times giving away what would have been a certain victory. The past Sunday was an obvious trial of the team's endurance as they took on the physically superior soldiers: infact Military Police who are the fit among the fit in any army regiment.
They were fit but their strong muscles were not so much inclined to football and this was our chance to run over them, thump them hard but at the end of the day all that could be said was "we almost beat them."
While our goal keeper made his fair share of blunders by failing to cut for crosses and at times get a clean hold of the ball which always resulted in a goal, it was the strike force that got everyone saying "almost."
Benji, Tinz, Zeal and then Thando took turns to squander the chances that came their way. One remarkable miss was by Benji, who had earlier said "abantu laba bamnandi bayareyitsheka" (these people are easy to dribble). He got a lovely pass from Nick and his long legs got him past a host of the Military Police defenders and when he came face to face with the goalie he shot tamely at goal. Noone really knows what he was trying to do but at least Spikiri (left back for soldiers)told him after the match that he had cost Broadhurst the game.
Benji was just into dribbling and his contribution was as clear as mud. After his "almost" moment, the soldiers' goalie hit a long ball forward that caught our defense in sixes and sevens and they did not dilly dally with their chance, they increased they goal margin with a struck volley.
In came Khumbi and he was as cool as a cucumber, executing well and according to coach Bongs' instruction on his role in the midfield. His introduction saw us score two goals off the boot of Zoro but he needs to buy football boots and desist from playing with a 3/4 cargo pant. We almost drew level thanks to his intimidating masculine presence in the middle of the pitch as this led the soldiers to switch their play to the wings where they found Freed and Maqhawe resolute.
We almost grabbed a late equalizer but Thando somehow scooped the ball way over the cross bar from a virtually impossible distance from the goal line-maybe just over a metre from the goal line. As if this wasn't enough, Ronny almost put up for the night at the barracks as his car ran out of fuel
It is a public secret that FC Broadhurst lacks physical fitness and this flaw has often resulted in them conceding silly goals and at times giving away what would have been a certain victory. The past Sunday was an obvious trial of the team's endurance as they took on the physically superior soldiers: infact Military Police who are the fit among the fit in any army regiment.
They were fit but their strong muscles were not so much inclined to football and this was our chance to run over them, thump them hard but at the end of the day all that could be said was "we almost beat them."
While our goal keeper made his fair share of blunders by failing to cut for crosses and at times get a clean hold of the ball which always resulted in a goal, it was the strike force that got everyone saying "almost."
Benji, Tinz, Zeal and then Thando took turns to squander the chances that came their way. One remarkable miss was by Benji, who had earlier said "abantu laba bamnandi bayareyitsheka" (these people are easy to dribble). He got a lovely pass from Nick and his long legs got him past a host of the Military Police defenders and when he came face to face with the goalie he shot tamely at goal. Noone really knows what he was trying to do but at least Spikiri (left back for soldiers)told him after the match that he had cost Broadhurst the game.
Benji was just into dribbling and his contribution was as clear as mud. After his "almost" moment, the soldiers' goalie hit a long ball forward that caught our defense in sixes and sevens and they did not dilly dally with their chance, they increased they goal margin with a struck volley.
In came Khumbi and he was as cool as a cucumber, executing well and according to coach Bongs' instruction on his role in the midfield. His introduction saw us score two goals off the boot of Zoro but he needs to buy football boots and desist from playing with a 3/4 cargo pant. We almost drew level thanks to his intimidating masculine presence in the middle of the pitch as this led the soldiers to switch their play to the wings where they found Freed and Maqhawe resolute.
We almost grabbed a late equalizer but Thando somehow scooped the ball way over the cross bar from a virtually impossible distance from the goal line-maybe just over a metre from the goal line. As if this wasn't enough, Ronny almost put up for the night at the barracks as his car ran out of fuel
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Marina-much ado about nothing
When FC Broadhurst drove to the National Stadium for a date with Marina FC, the rumour mill had it that the medical boys had a 10 game unbeaten run that included beating 3 teams from South Africa, while Broadhurst's fine run had been halted the previous week by a select team of Gaborone Hotel and Culture Spears.
Still smarting from a 6-5 defeat to the select team in a game that they gave away 3 penalties and let go a 5-3 goal lead, Broadhurst's desire for a win seemed to have been dealt blow when Marina scored early in the first half. Was this going to be another victory for Marina? No! it was not going to be as Broadhurst is allergic to losing.
By the way, this was Thando's first match for Broadhurst as a married man and he was out to prove that he is still agile and that his back is still in mint condition. He made a string of saves that frustrated the Marina strikers who would have managed to filter through the defence of Maqhawe, Mudhawu, Mozy and Freed.
But like any other goalie, Thando had his moment to produce a howler of the day: Broadhurst was now leading 3-1 courtesy of goals from Zeal and a brace from Zoro when an under pressure Marina striker managed to weakly toe poke from way outside the 18 yard area a ball that everyone assumed would be easily dealt with by Thando only for some deafening silence to follow when the ball somewhat trickled between his legs and in the process giving Marina some hope of salvaging a draw at least.
Although Zeal had scored later in the first half to even up the scores, the team's bench felt he had not contributed much to the game and he was substituted before half time with Bra Hlo coming in for him which meant Zoro had to push up front and take his brother's striking role and partner Tinz.
Zeal made known his disgust at being substituted by asking Coach Bongs if he has a personal vendetta with him. He argued that he's always the first person to be substituted regardless of his performance saying the coach never compliments him. After his outburst, he did not wait for the second half, he drove home at supersonic speed.
It is not the first time that after being substituted Zeal has driven off; last week during the match against the Gaborone Hotel, Culture Spears - Select, he was substituted at the beginning of second half and he seemed to say he had had enough and drove his way home leaving behind his young brother Zoro who was to later find his way home courtesy of Mozy and Bradley.
But what he forgets is that, there is never a match that he has started on the bench while his other striking partners (Benji, Tinz and Toffy) have gotten used to always starting on the bench. And when it was just over 10 minutes into the second half Tinz was substituted but Zeal was not there to see it happen.
Nick came in for Tinz and this substitution meant that Broadhurst now had eight natural midfielders (Ronny, Bra Hlo, Simba, Karabo, Nick, Maqhawe, Zoro, Freed)on the pitch. Now this is one department that is tricky to manage- but the good thing is that Zeal is not a midfielder otherwise he would be frustrated everyday. This Sunday Tiego was not around and had he been there, there was going to be another substitution that would have probably seen Mozy come out and have another midfielder come in for him. Mozy had wanted to play just one half because of his nagging ankle injury but he ended up playing the whole 2 hours.
But how is the coach managing all these midfielders? Some of them are flexible to play deep in holding positions and even capable of playing as defenders. Tawu, Ronny, Maqhawe, Simba and Freed can play as defenders while Bra Hlo can switch from being an attacking player to a defensive midfielder which then gives the coach more options upfront in the mould of Nick, Tiego and Karabo.
Away from the selection politics, another positive that can be drawn from 4-2 triumph over Marina is Mudhawu's improving confidence with the ball- he rarely pumped the ball forward instead he chose to hold the ball and play the ball to his nearest team mate. Mudhawu is certainly enjoying his tiem at Broadhurst- but who would not enjoy playing for a winning team?
Of the noise about not being beaten in ten games and holding a suspicious record of having beaten Chipoloplo, Marina did not bother Broadhurst- it was indeed just like the wincing sound of toothless guard dog.
Still smarting from a 6-5 defeat to the select team in a game that they gave away 3 penalties and let go a 5-3 goal lead, Broadhurst's desire for a win seemed to have been dealt blow when Marina scored early in the first half. Was this going to be another victory for Marina? No! it was not going to be as Broadhurst is allergic to losing.
By the way, this was Thando's first match for Broadhurst as a married man and he was out to prove that he is still agile and that his back is still in mint condition. He made a string of saves that frustrated the Marina strikers who would have managed to filter through the defence of Maqhawe, Mudhawu, Mozy and Freed.
But like any other goalie, Thando had his moment to produce a howler of the day: Broadhurst was now leading 3-1 courtesy of goals from Zeal and a brace from Zoro when an under pressure Marina striker managed to weakly toe poke from way outside the 18 yard area a ball that everyone assumed would be easily dealt with by Thando only for some deafening silence to follow when the ball somewhat trickled between his legs and in the process giving Marina some hope of salvaging a draw at least.
Although Zeal had scored later in the first half to even up the scores, the team's bench felt he had not contributed much to the game and he was substituted before half time with Bra Hlo coming in for him which meant Zoro had to push up front and take his brother's striking role and partner Tinz.
Zeal made known his disgust at being substituted by asking Coach Bongs if he has a personal vendetta with him. He argued that he's always the first person to be substituted regardless of his performance saying the coach never compliments him. After his outburst, he did not wait for the second half, he drove home at supersonic speed.
It is not the first time that after being substituted Zeal has driven off; last week during the match against the Gaborone Hotel, Culture Spears - Select, he was substituted at the beginning of second half and he seemed to say he had had enough and drove his way home leaving behind his young brother Zoro who was to later find his way home courtesy of Mozy and Bradley.
But what he forgets is that, there is never a match that he has started on the bench while his other striking partners (Benji, Tinz and Toffy) have gotten used to always starting on the bench. And when it was just over 10 minutes into the second half Tinz was substituted but Zeal was not there to see it happen.
Nick came in for Tinz and this substitution meant that Broadhurst now had eight natural midfielders (Ronny, Bra Hlo, Simba, Karabo, Nick, Maqhawe, Zoro, Freed)on the pitch. Now this is one department that is tricky to manage- but the good thing is that Zeal is not a midfielder otherwise he would be frustrated everyday. This Sunday Tiego was not around and had he been there, there was going to be another substitution that would have probably seen Mozy come out and have another midfielder come in for him. Mozy had wanted to play just one half because of his nagging ankle injury but he ended up playing the whole 2 hours.
But how is the coach managing all these midfielders? Some of them are flexible to play deep in holding positions and even capable of playing as defenders. Tawu, Ronny, Maqhawe, Simba and Freed can play as defenders while Bra Hlo can switch from being an attacking player to a defensive midfielder which then gives the coach more options upfront in the mould of Nick, Tiego and Karabo.
Away from the selection politics, another positive that can be drawn from 4-2 triumph over Marina is Mudhawu's improving confidence with the ball- he rarely pumped the ball forward instead he chose to hold the ball and play the ball to his nearest team mate. Mudhawu is certainly enjoying his tiem at Broadhurst- but who would not enjoy playing for a winning team?
Of the noise about not being beaten in ten games and holding a suspicious record of having beaten Chipoloplo, Marina did not bother Broadhurst- it was indeed just like the wincing sound of toothless guard dog.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
PASCOS FC - a football joke
When they were beaten 14-4 by FC Broadhurst last month, PASCOS FC had a lame excuse that they had come as a depleted team and promised to set the record right by walloping FC Broadhurst but everyone knows that its only Chipolopolo who have the guts and ability to say and do that.
PASCOS FC was a bundle of nerves punctuated by their coming late to their home pitch while this past Sunday was a day for Broadhurst to do the unthinkable as they for the first time came early for a match. PASCOS went on to be beaten 17-2.
A third of the PASCOS team had no soccer boots though the urban legend has it that the whole team has boots, its only that they are comfortable playing on bare feet. But playing against Parkers and Mudhawu on bare feet is not a comforting thought, it’s a mad man’s suicidal wet dream.
The first 15 minutes saw PASCOS dictate the pace of the game and manage to keep Broadhurst in its own half with their bare footed playmaker Coster threatening to run circles within the midfield but that was before the midfield genius of Bra Hlo, Nick, Karabo and Simba took the reigns. Once that was done goals started coming and the question was when will PASCOS avenge its defeat.
If PASCOS really wanted to win they could have at least tried to shoot at goal and try one Kumbi who was in goals for Broadhurst. Kumbi’s body is proportioned in such a way that it is difficult for him to run, jump let alone dive and this was clearly visible to any one and PASCOS could have manipulated this to their advantage and tried shooting from afar. But they did not, instead tried walking the ball into the net and Broadhurst’s defense of Ronny, Parkers, Maqhawe and Mudhawu reminded them that this is taboo and alien.
The goal that PASCOS scored in the first half was a speculative shot from outside the box by the youngest of the three brothers who form the core of PASCOS. As expected Kumbi just raised his hands as if surrendering and that was PASCOS’ s goal. In second half their second and final goal of the afternoon was a toe poke by the bare footed Coster again from outside the box and this went wide and far from the reach of Zeal who was now in goals replacing Kumbi who was playing as a midfielder.
PASCOS should be disbanded and all their players be black listed from any football matters as they bring the game of soccer into disrepute. When the initial agreed time elapsed the referee blew the whistle to make the end of the match but lo and behold, PASCOS requested for an additional 20 minutes and one should not be fooled into thinking that they had improved their game and wanted to conjure a great comeback, turn the game on its head and go on to win- they don’t have a Stephen Gerrard, the master of comebacks. At that time the match was poised at 13-2 but with additional 20 minutes, 4 more goals went past the PASCOS goalminder.
Goal scorers for the day were Benjamin, Tinashe, Maqhawe, Zeal, Karabo, Bongani and Tsepang, yes Tsepang. Tsepang had had several chances that he had failed to convert and it seemed like he would not score until he managed to squeeze the ball between the goalie and the upright post. But in all honesty Tsepang was offside.
Coach Bongs put the final nail on the PASCOS coffin when he got to the end of a lovely pass from the right wing- a product of a cocktail of some fancy foot work by Tiego and Simba. The whole of PASCO cried for an offside whistle against Bongs but the beefy player coach was on side and the tired PASCOS defense could not even chase him as he dashed for goal; the keeper left his line to try and cut Bongs’ shooting options little did he know that Bongs had other ideas. As he got into the 18 yard area he did as if he were shooting only for the keeper to fall for the decoy and come down with a thud in the process spreading his legs so wide as one giving birth. Bongs rounded him and then put the ball into a yawning goal. This keeper surely got home with not only soil between his bums but stretch marks on his thighs and a swollen pelvis and groin as he spent most of the game down on his bums, legs stretched all over from the dribbling and his desperate stunts to keep the scoreline respectable.
PASCOS should be disbanded for real, when Maqhawe was substituted early in the first half due to some stomach cramps, Tinashe came in and played defense and there he was playing like a Dani Alves, always up field just as Maqhawe had been doing. Maqhawe is a Maicon for he can venture forward and be equally good defense wise but with Tinz that can not be said but PASCOS really made Tinz look like a good wing back as they never tested his defensive mantle.
Then Mozy who was out due to a nagging ankle injury came in for the second half and the formation was changed to 3-5-2 so that PASCOS could be further denied possession by being outnumbered in the midfield. Soon Broadhurst’s defense had two defenders as Mozy was now part of the midfield albeit on the right wing after realizing that PASCOS was not showing signs of seeking a win.
PASCOS FC was a bundle of nerves punctuated by their coming late to their home pitch while this past Sunday was a day for Broadhurst to do the unthinkable as they for the first time came early for a match. PASCOS went on to be beaten 17-2.
A third of the PASCOS team had no soccer boots though the urban legend has it that the whole team has boots, its only that they are comfortable playing on bare feet. But playing against Parkers and Mudhawu on bare feet is not a comforting thought, it’s a mad man’s suicidal wet dream.
The first 15 minutes saw PASCOS dictate the pace of the game and manage to keep Broadhurst in its own half with their bare footed playmaker Coster threatening to run circles within the midfield but that was before the midfield genius of Bra Hlo, Nick, Karabo and Simba took the reigns. Once that was done goals started coming and the question was when will PASCOS avenge its defeat.
If PASCOS really wanted to win they could have at least tried to shoot at goal and try one Kumbi who was in goals for Broadhurst. Kumbi’s body is proportioned in such a way that it is difficult for him to run, jump let alone dive and this was clearly visible to any one and PASCOS could have manipulated this to their advantage and tried shooting from afar. But they did not, instead tried walking the ball into the net and Broadhurst’s defense of Ronny, Parkers, Maqhawe and Mudhawu reminded them that this is taboo and alien.
The goal that PASCOS scored in the first half was a speculative shot from outside the box by the youngest of the three brothers who form the core of PASCOS. As expected Kumbi just raised his hands as if surrendering and that was PASCOS’ s goal. In second half their second and final goal of the afternoon was a toe poke by the bare footed Coster again from outside the box and this went wide and far from the reach of Zeal who was now in goals replacing Kumbi who was playing as a midfielder.
PASCOS should be disbanded and all their players be black listed from any football matters as they bring the game of soccer into disrepute. When the initial agreed time elapsed the referee blew the whistle to make the end of the match but lo and behold, PASCOS requested for an additional 20 minutes and one should not be fooled into thinking that they had improved their game and wanted to conjure a great comeback, turn the game on its head and go on to win- they don’t have a Stephen Gerrard, the master of comebacks. At that time the match was poised at 13-2 but with additional 20 minutes, 4 more goals went past the PASCOS goalminder.
Goal scorers for the day were Benjamin, Tinashe, Maqhawe, Zeal, Karabo, Bongani and Tsepang, yes Tsepang. Tsepang had had several chances that he had failed to convert and it seemed like he would not score until he managed to squeeze the ball between the goalie and the upright post. But in all honesty Tsepang was offside.
Coach Bongs put the final nail on the PASCOS coffin when he got to the end of a lovely pass from the right wing- a product of a cocktail of some fancy foot work by Tiego and Simba. The whole of PASCO cried for an offside whistle against Bongs but the beefy player coach was on side and the tired PASCOS defense could not even chase him as he dashed for goal; the keeper left his line to try and cut Bongs’ shooting options little did he know that Bongs had other ideas. As he got into the 18 yard area he did as if he were shooting only for the keeper to fall for the decoy and come down with a thud in the process spreading his legs so wide as one giving birth. Bongs rounded him and then put the ball into a yawning goal. This keeper surely got home with not only soil between his bums but stretch marks on his thighs and a swollen pelvis and groin as he spent most of the game down on his bums, legs stretched all over from the dribbling and his desperate stunts to keep the scoreline respectable.
PASCOS should be disbanded for real, when Maqhawe was substituted early in the first half due to some stomach cramps, Tinashe came in and played defense and there he was playing like a Dani Alves, always up field just as Maqhawe had been doing. Maqhawe is a Maicon for he can venture forward and be equally good defense wise but with Tinz that can not be said but PASCOS really made Tinz look like a good wing back as they never tested his defensive mantle.
Then Mozy who was out due to a nagging ankle injury came in for the second half and the formation was changed to 3-5-2 so that PASCOS could be further denied possession by being outnumbered in the midfield. Soon Broadhurst’s defense had two defenders as Mozy was now part of the midfield albeit on the right wing after realizing that PASCOS was not showing signs of seeking a win.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
